6/16/2012

Invacare Mariner Rehab Shower Commode Chair Review

Invacare Mariner Rehab Shower Commode Chair
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No longer do I have to trouble myself with actually walking over to the toilet to relieve myself. In fact, with this rolling commode on wheels I never have to actually go into a restroom! What a burden to drop. It's awesome. My daily events continue completely unabated regardless of what I ate for lunch. Bring on lunch at Anita's Mexican Restaurant!
I first saw the Mariner while in the hospital recovering from some self-inflicted throat and stomach trauma. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that I was watching Nathan's Hotdog eating competition where this Japanese guy crammed 189 hotdogs into his mouth. It was so awe inspiring that I felt that I must try it myself... hence the trip to the emergency room.
Anywhoo,
One of the patients down the hall was recovering from falling off her roof... or giving birth to the child that was screaming his head off in her room... I'm not sure which... In any event, she was using this device while in recovery. I thought to myself, "Self, all these years you've been a prisoner to your bodily functions and now, right here, is the key to your freedom. Self, don't be a sucker, get this rolling crap factory and start living!"
Freedom, real freedom, is dropping a deuce while rolling down hill with your arms raised over your head like the champion you are.
After a night of eating Indian and Mexican food I can go to the movie theater the next day without worrying about missing any of the action! It's quite liberating. Imagine pinching a loaf while simultaneously watching Julie and Julia and eating popcorn. Uh... I mean watching Rambo.... Imagine how many more bad guys Rambo would have killed if he had an M-60 mounted to the Mariner Commode Chair. I'm telling you that the strained look on his face is the result of constiptation.
For office managers: how much more productive will your employees be if they don't have to EVER leave their desks! I smell PROFIT...


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